Giro's Shack

28March2011

Adele – Rolling In The Deep

Posted by Roland under: Music.

Adele…scary good with this song!

Tags: adele

6January2011

Well, I don’t really deserve it, but sure, if you say so!

Posted by Roland under: Personal.

Tags: yelp

2January2011

Looking Back on 2010: Online Dating

Posted by Roland under: Personal.

College was the best time to meet girls, go on dates, all that business. Let’s face it. It’s hard enough once you start working, as your prospects are limited to friends of friends (which wasn’t working out) and co-workers (sexual harassment ahoy!). Compounding this problem was my specific job, which by nature makes relationships hard to maintain, let alone establish. Bouncing around the country doesn’t make it easy to meet people.

So faced with this sad proposition, I figured the only place where I could possibly even consider meeting new people was online. Meeting people online doesn’t have the best of reputations, usually being the last resort of the desperate. I would argue that might be somewhat the case in college, when you pretty much have all opportunity to meet lots of people. Classes, school groups, people in your dorm. And if you don’t like the people you meet one semester, just wait until the next one comes and you’ll get a chance to meet lots of new ones.

But all that opportunity disappeared. So what better use of the internet than to make some new connections? And if anything, it would prove a way to meet people outside of my usual group and the usual trap of girls in business.

Admittedly it did feel weird at first. It’s a whole new game online. Not that I was so successful at the real life dating game, but taking it online has its own culture you need to navigate through. The biggest difference I think is that expectations are much more obvious in the beginning. You’re both on dating sites. You want to go out on a date. She wants to go out on a date. That initial guessing game when meeting someone in person the first time is already out of the way.

Like in real life, girls do still have the power I feel. Sure, the messaging system on online sites goes both ways, but more often than not, guys will be sending the messages and girls get the messages. That’s why I always feel like when I was getting in touch with people, my message kind of got lost in the pile. I’ll never know, but I always tried my best to personalize my messages. I’m sure girls get enough generic pick up lines, but who knows how many people got tired after reading 50 msgs and closed their account when I was #51? But that’s part of the online game. Drop your name in the hat, hope they read it, hope even more they respond, and see where you go from there. Don’t take personal if they don’t respond. Try not to take it personal if they just disappear too.

Going online of course provides anonymity, to some extent. That’s the point. If you want to just disappear, you have every right to. Profile one day, gone the next. You have to put up a picture to get actual attention however, but once you see your friend online, try not to mention it to them unless you want things to getting a little weird.

Someone likened online dating to a meat market. Sure, I think that’s true. You browse profiles, pictures, pick and choose who you want to talk to. But it’s another way to the end to getting what people want. If you want a relationship, find the people who want it. If you want a hook-up, find the people who want it. The dating websites make it nice and easy to filter and as long as people are honest, you’ll be able to find what you want.

In any case, online dating will also involve a lot of rejection. But if you get through that and you actually get to meet someone in person? Well, that’s where the fun begins. I fully recommend people interested in online dating, give it a shot. I don’t think it’s as embarrassing as it used to be. With everything else going online anyway, why shouldn’t dating go there as well?

Tags: online dating

28December2010

Looking Back on 2010: Japan

Posted by Roland under: Personal.

Admittedly, my views of Japan are probably skewed. The only times I get to go are when I’m there on vacation. Let’s face it, (ideally) any place you go on vacation would come off as an awesome place. So vacation Japan, I know really well. Working and daily life in Japan, maybe not so much. I did spend six months studying abroad, but even that was a bit of skewed time as the university took really good care of us and pretty much forced Japanese students to be friends with us from the get go (I wouldn’t have the courage to make friends with a bunch of strange foreigners off the bat…well, unless they were all attractive Japanese girls, but that’s another story). We were given apartments nicer than the usual student and classes weren’t that bad (even though Japanese university in general  isn’t as bad as America). So in addition to my vacation experience I also have a romantic view from my study abroad time.

So yes, I might not have the firsthand experience of the daily life in Japan, although I’ve been exposed to it enough over the last couple years. The inordinate amount of Japanese television I’ve watched, as well as keeping in touch with a few friends has let me know that after the romantic view of Japan we all have, there’s bad stuff that you’d be exposed to also.

But there’s still something that keeps drawing me back there. One thing is the graciousness of its culture. On this last trip, people I had just known online through random blog comments were not only willing to meet me in person, but also one of them was willing to schedule a day’s tour of Kyoto. All that, just based on a few conversations on a Japanese blog. It’s also testament to the internet but probably more to the graciousness of the Japanese people.

There’s a question if people are legitimately that nice, or if people are just used, culturally, to being good to guests, regardless of the hardship. That’s not to say I was a difficult guest, but there always a part of me wondering if the person really wants to be nice or if they’re being nice because the culture dictates it so.

It’s a question that affects a lot of Japanese culture, where action is done for form’s sake many times. The traditional Japanese politeness most people receive when they visit on trips is the culture there. But as I found out from my time abroad, if you spend enough time with people, they’ll let down their guard and reveal their real selves, which in the end, is just as flawed as you and me. We are human after all.

But I still find myself taking the plunge into the artificial reality of Japan. Maybe I’m a sucker for it all, it’s quite possible. Who doesn’t like being taken care of treated? But as I find myself getting drawn more to actually staying in the country, will I uncover something worse beneath all the layers of niceness?

It’s all like the Matrix. Which pill do you take?

Tags: japan

21December2010

Looking Back on 2010: Kim

Posted by Roland under: Personal.

A testament to the insanity one can endure when they like someone, Kim encompassed a large part of this year. By the end of it all, I came out with a good deal of insight into myself and also how the game of relationships is always there, despite your best efforts.

Chances are if you’re reading this, you’ve already heard what I had to say about the period of time I was actively chasing Kim. For those who didn’t know the fun, I can easily summarize it by some of the worst advice I recieved in 2009:

“She’s totally into you, she’s just waiting for you to make a move.”

So yes, I tried, failed, but for some idiotic reason, still kept going for it. Most girls, after a rejection, would like to place some distance between them and the rejected party. God knows that’s how it has played for me in the past. Get rejected, avoid communication for a few awkward weeks/months, then somehow readjust and realize all is well and you can continue being friends (for the most part…that doesn’t always happen but has happened 90% of time).

But with Kim, somehow, things continued the way they always did after she told me “no”. Part of it was me being stubborn and taking her indirect “no” more as a “there’s still a chance”. That’s my bad. But there was no awkward weeks/months of no communication. I kid you not, just hours after, it was back to life as normal, talking online about random whatever. In my mind, there was no adjustment from failed attempt to “okay, she just wants to be friends”. Therefore, my mind never made the adjustment to give up. The continued communication (like nothing was wrong) coupled with a indirect “no” which I took more as “maybe”, kept me chasing for a few more months.

Anyway, more insanity ahead from there. The early part of 2010 would be peppered with everyday chats with Kim, where I pretty much made obvious my interest in her still remained. For her part, she would politely keep telling me it wouldn’t work, but never really outright told me to stop. So I would let myself be dragged along, clinging to hope that was never really there.

At some point, Kim had enough of me. I don’t really blame her. I’m sure a mixture of me hounding her with my interest plus my continued comments at her lifestyle choices (no one really wants to be lectured, let’s be honest, and she wasn’t in the mood to change) led her to shut everything down when I got back from Japan.

And I mean everything. We had spoke almost everyday online, even sometimes texting, about the stupidest things. But I got back from Japan to an e-mail pretty much saying that she did not want to speak to me anymore, because it would “hurt our friendship”.

You tell me where not talking to someone would actually “help” your friendship.

So there it was, in one fell swoop, Kim decided she was done talking to me. I had actually seen it coming, because in the few times I tried talking to her in Japan, she was very curt in her replies, a sign that something was up. I figured I would be able to get in touch fully back in the States, but that would not be the case. She had blocked me on Google Chat, wasn’t responding to my phone call or text.

We went from talking everyday, to almost expecting hearing from her, to being treated like a complete stranger. I knew Kim hated conflict and if faced with a difficult situation, if she had an easy way out, she would take it. So I didn’t expect her to actually reply to my request to at least talk to me about her decision. But I figured, if we were really friends and she really wanted to save the friendship, she would actually talk it out?

We weren’t really friends it seems. I eventually realized that the e-mail she gave me was actually copy and pasted from other e-mails (the fonts being different sizes). She wouldn’t even give me the effort of at least writing an original e-mail. A follow up e-mail from her a few days later would say she was disappointed in my attempts to contact her further. She questioned if I really wanted to save the friendship, but honestly, she was pretty much putting the final touches on the end of it with that message.

And so, whatever we had, friendship, relationship, or something in between, was over. She was able to get a free meal out of it, while some gift she promised me from Singapore, I’m sure will never be delivered.

My immediate mood towards her went from friendly to angry. It was a sudden move, to go from talking to someone everyday to immediate silence, under the pretense of “saving a friendship”. She said she didn’t feel comfortable talking anymore, which I could understand, but there was no buildup. If she was weirded out about my feelings towards her, she had plenty of other opportunities to back out. Like I said, when I made my feelings first known, that would be an appropriate time. But for some reason, months later would be the right time to do so.

In any case, I would get used to the no contact from her. I kept my distaste hidden, but I would later find out that she would tell someone else in my company that I used to like her. This was quite the slap to my face as her e-mail specifically said she wanted to keep whatever was going on between us secret. I honored her words, but she could not honor her own.

Fate was a bit more hilarious when they made it so I had to work with her as part of the Stanford recruiting team. But I’m professional, she was too, I like recruiting a lot and if I had to work with her, so be it. How did she react? Like nothing really happened. We weren’t going to talk everyday, that’s for sure, but she was the first one to text me before our first face to face meeting. I’ll give it to her, she may not like talking to me, but she hates awkward situations even more.

And so the recruiting season went, we worked well enough. Again, I knew that I had a job to do, and I was willing to work with her to get it done. But she gave me one last hiccup for me to deal with. As I was planning out Stanford recruiting tasks, Kim would tell me one day out of the blue, she was leaving the company. Of course, that’s why she asked for all those Fridays off from our recruiting meetings.

What did I come out of the experience from? Just beware of the girl. But really, just beware of others. You may think one thing about them and then they can surprise you, in the wrong way. Kim was a good friend. But in the end, I let myself be dragged along by an image of her that probably never existed. Instead, I would be more hurt by her selfishness and hypocrisy.

As far as I know, she’s with a new boyfriend, a fun new job, and still living it up. It was a sudden and messy end to whatever it was with had, but in the end, I just needed to write all this out to move on finally. I don’t expect a Christmas card from her this year.

Kim, I apologize for making you uncomfortable and my sometimes constant comments about your lifestyle. It’s not my place to judge, I guess. But I’m still hurt by your continued running away from conflict (which killed, rather than saved a friendship) and your hypocrisy behind my back.

Well, I’ll always have the lines and lines of chat logs. And an e-mail with suspiciously different text formatting.

Tags: kim

20December2010

Looking Back on 2010: Makeup

Posted by Roland under: Personal.

I had always thought (and I’m sure a lot of us also) that no, I wasn’t that shallow. I wasn’t that affected by appearances. It’s all about personality in the end. Looks come and go.

Yeah well, that was kind of a shock during the year.

Probably one of the big revelations I had this year was how much makeup can change a person’s appearance and even in some cases, hide their other flaws. Of course I knew that makeup was used to improve your appearance, but it wasn’t until this year I actually was able to see “before” and “after” of the transformation. Ignorance maybe? I didn’t know what a change it could make and well, now I do.

All YouTube makeup videos and scary “day after” photos aside, I was surprised how much that a person’s appearance and correspondingly, my own perception of them was affected. Coupled with the right fashion (previous readers may remember my similar revelation on girls wearing boots as well), let’s face, I’ll be quite the sucker for the girl.

As first impressions are all about looks, how many got the unfair advantage just with the application of the right makeup? And maybe how many lost out because they didn’t use any? Natural beauty is something to be admired, but with the popularity of makeup videos as a sign, it’ll be harder and harder to find. It’s a vicious game out there and I guess girls will have to use whatever they can to their advantage. I’m not discounting that.

There was one girl that I thought was ridiculously cute, but after the initial shock and awe wore off, I did quickly realize that there was makeup in full effect. We even had a long discussion about her “natural” look and how rarely it actually came to light. Everyday, she would take the time, to do herself up, unless the situation made makeup unnecessary (a rarity). And sure, she looked cute, but I had never really seen her without makeup. Eventually, at one point, I would see her again and I just realized, she wasn’t that cute. At some point, I was able to break through the heavy makeup she had on and realized, there wasn’t enough makeup for this girl to cover up all her issues. Her real self was peeking through the mask of makeup.

I guess I just have to be more aware, going into the next year, to avoid getting sucked in by the appeal of makeup and break through to the real person beneath it all. I’m all for girls using makeup, I’ll just have to be less of a sucker about it.

Tags: makeup

9December2010

The Top 10 Everything of 2010

Posted by Roland under: Personal.

http://www.time.com/time/specials/packages/0,28757,2035319,00.html

Sadly, it is not a Top 10 list of “everything” (what would that entail) but a bunch of Top 10 lists that Time compiled. Interesting read, even though I really did imagine it was just one Top 10 list.

I eat up lists…which is why Digg, even though it’s a shadow of its former self, still gets my attention because every 5th top story is like a top 10 list on that site. Sad for Digg, good time waster for me.

Tags: time·top 10

5November2010

More and more

Posted by Roland under: Personal.

I feel like I want to come back and settle in the DC area…despite the ridiculous weather and traffic.

The people just seem so much more down to earth and friendly here! Not to say that SF isn’t either, but I guess I just feel a bit more in sync here.

Or it could be just the inordinate amount of attention people give to Redskins football here too, that’s what I like. It has any coverage in SF of both their football teams beat.

Won’t happen anytime soon, but just something to ponder for way in the future.

Tags: maryland

9September2010

This makes me quite happy

Posted by Roland under: Personal.

I’ve loved Emi Hinouchi’s music for awhile (she’s still trying to make it big in Japan!) so I was quite pleased to see that I got even a bit of her attention.

Translated, it means “I want to go America. I really want to go!”

I had previously tweeted at her asking when she was going to come perform in America.

I can keep on dreaming!

Tags: emi hinouchi·twitter

1September2010

Bitch please.

Posted by Roland under: Personal.

I do not need your shenanigans.

Tags: