8 April 2010
I give up.
Posted by Roland under: Personal .
I am really tired of trying to schedule time with someone.
Admittedly, it’s very difficult when you’re only in SF for a weekend at a time and the other side’s weekend schedule rivals that of the most popular restaurants (i.e. you’re not getting a table without a reservation). I’ve tried everything. Asking, not asking, making myself available, seemingly making myself unavailable (oh but I was so available), trying to see if day-of spots were open, maybe asking a few days in advance, even asking almost a month in advance.
Nothing works. I give up.
Case in point, I throw out 4 (that’s right, 4) possible invites to hang out this month. Of course I have no expectations to getting all 4 but come on, one of them has to work out, right? Since they said they were a fan of Google Calendar I decide to dust off that particular piece of software (I am a late adopter when it comes to things) and use it to set up the 4 invites.
Friday, April 9.
Saturday, April 10.
Friday, April 30.
Saturday, May 1.
Okay, let’s see what happens. The immediate response, 3 tentatives and a confirmed yes for April 30? Very nice! Maybe we’ll actually be able to pull off a miracle and have 2 hang outs? I’m liking what I hear.
A few days later, the April 9 and 10 hang outs would be canceled formally. A little disappointed, but then again, there was never a true confirmation, so what can one expect?
And then I go online to Google Calendar just for kicks (i.e. bored at work) and I look at the April 30 invite…
Canceled.
What the hell?
My initial reactions:
1. Anger. Why wasn’t I informed about this cancellation? Okay sure, it was for something weeks in advance but I then again expect to hear from someone if they back out on an agreement. My Calendar isn’t set up to notify me when schedules change so I did not enjoy the impersonality of this rejection (having to find out from the website rather than from the person themselves). If you’ve got bad news, bring it to my face at least.
2. Disappointment. I hate when people go back on their word. HATE. I had penciled in April 30 as a nice hang out, but now all of a sudden they’ve withdrawn their acceptance? You had plenty of time to stay “tentative” and not commit. But I feel once you’ve committed to something, what the hell, you’re locked in. Maybe they didn’t take Google Calendar confirmations seriously? But then, this is a one on one invite, I’m not asking you to join my college group’s fundraiser through a spam invite on Facebook. I expect a little bit more…maybe too much? Okay, maybe you backed out of the dinner for a good reason then?
3. Depression. Turns out I was being replaced in favor of a birthday party. For someone that I know. But I guess not know enough to be invited to. Sighing then began.
So basically, I went from a long awaited (I had to book it weeks in advance) dinner to now being alone while my dinner partner goes off and has a fun time to a party for someone I know but wasn’t invited to. That’s quite a swing.
What bothers me the most? Probably #2…like I said, I don’t like when people go back on their word. Maybe I just overestimated how important Google Calendar is? My mistake. I guess you won’t know until you actually see them, sitting across from you at the table.
Not saying that I’m so deprived of friendship that I couldn’t fill up my schedule with things. But when I commit to meeting someone, I would expect they return me the same respect.
May 1 is still listed as “tentative”. You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t hold my breath.
me: well no pressure of course haha
i mean, eventually at some point
i need to try and fill my own calendar toothem: go ahead!
hahame: gosh!
them: you should just do that
me: when you say it like that
i am
i’m trying to fill it with you ;p